New Twist on an Old Yarn—Chicken crossing the Road

MARTIN LUTHER: The chicken was already justified, so why did she even try to cross the road?

JOHN CALVIN: The chicken was chosen from before the foundation of the world to cross the road.

JOHN WALVOORD: The road is a terrifying place. But chickens can escape the road if they believe right now!

BILL BRIGHT: All chickens try to cross the road, but the road between us and the great Rooster-in-the-Sky is too great.

HOWARD HENDRICKS: Chickens are not born; they choose to be chickens in the crucible of experience.

AL QAIDA: Strapped to the chicken is a tiny bomb—our answer to Satan’s drones! Die, America!

ORIGEN: The chicken is the heart of man; the road, his body. Crossing the road is just background noise because it doesn’t fit with my interpretation.

BART EHRMAN: There is no proof that ‘chicken’ is in the original manuscript. It could just as easily have been a raccoon.

ROBERT W. FUNK: The chicken is painted black, but the road is pink. The likelihood that ‘chicken’ is what was said is doubtful because there is no proof that chickens existed in Palestine at this time, while roads probably did. The chicken is a later accretion added by pious scribes in the fourth century.

KARL BARTH: Whether this chicken actually existed, we all must face our own chickens so that the Word of the Road becomes real to us.

ROBERT FROST: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood; the chicken took the road more traveled and was squashed like a bug.

TREY GOWDY: We’ll get some answers—or food—when I grill that chicken!

SHAKESPEARE: To cross or not to cross—that is the question. Or not.

POPE FRANCIS: Whether the chicken crossed the road, was road-kill, stayed on this side of the road, or even denied the road’s existence, if it’s a good chicken she will go to heaven.

Chick-fil-A: Be assured, we’ll get her!


23 thoughts on “New Twist on an Old Yarn—Chicken crossing the Road

  1. Dan Wallace: See my 10,000 footnotes on “the chicken crosses the road” passage free online from the original Greek manuscripts digitally preserved from palimpsest parchments. Meanwhile, who’s having me over for chicken dinner?


  2. Dear Dr. Wallace:
    I enjoyed the post today. It gave me a good chuckle before going to church. I have a totally off-topic question. A couple of people and I were discussing the subject of Constructio ad Sensum, and particularly the listing of Acts 8:10 you make on page 331 of your grammar. I was curious why you felt Acts 8:10 is a clear illustration of Constructio ad Sensum? Anyhow keep up the great work and being used of God to advance His Kingdom.

    For His glory
    Mahlon Smith


  3. Pingback: The Articles I Read Last Week (Links) | Veritas Venator

  4. Clark Coleman

    The John Calvin quote was incomplete. I believe he also pointed out that while the chicken was chosen from the foundation of the world to cross the road, it is still not correct to say that it was forced to cross the road. Also, with God having chosen the exact time of the crossing of the road, if the chicken gets run over, it is still entirely the fault of the chicken.


  5. Christian

    Islam: The chicken did not actually cross the road. It was all a part of a big hoax to make it look like the chicken crossed the road. Then, when the chicken was witnessed to be alive and well – on the same side of the road the chicken supposedly crossed over from – the other chickens perpetuated the hoax of the road CROSSing. Coming back from a real road CROSSing would take the power of God. We all know that this chicken was not God, but a prophet.


  6. Ed

    Here’s my contribution 🙂

    Victoria Osteen: When a chicken crosses the road, they’re not doing it to get to the other side. I mean, that’s one way to look at it. They are doing it for themselves, because they take pleasure in it. So I want all chickens to know this morning: just cross the road—for your own selves. Amen?


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